Note to reader: I am using this space and place to post parts of a new slip-fiction novel series I am working on, Left Brain Right, the story of a young girl who hears voices. Left-Brain excerpts will be from her care-takers’ point of view or the point of view of the friends and family around her, while right-brain excerpts will describe how she sees the situation. I will not be posting the whole story, but I will be posting practical tips when dealing with someone, or one’s own self, as they are going through traumatic, or not so traumatic, experiences. Please note these are first rough drafts, so there may be spelling and/or grammatical errors.

© 2016 Jennifer Engel, All Rights Reserved, but feed back welcome.:)

How today’s story excerpt can help you:

Theme: Many people feel that living a consistent life (waking up at the same time, going to bed at the same time, doing the same (or similar things) over and over again, day after day, year after year, is boring. I contend, it is what makes us stable.  What would happen if our earth’s orbit became unstable? The challenge then is to find magic in the monotony. We do this through celebrations, and through other practices. In Michelle’s case, the main character, she does this through art, meditation, and visualization.

Left then Right

November 4th
It’s Dr. Wong’s day off. She’s encouraging me to write a diary entry on her days off. The programing at the hospital stays the same, they think it’s best to keep as much consistency as possible, not just here, but in our lives when we are done with treatment. The only difference is that I don’t have individual therapy sessions and other consistent weekend staff may take the place of the regular week day staff.

Consistent. I don’t even know what that word means. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not stupid, I know the dictionary definition. I just don’t know how to apply it into my actual life right now. I used to know the meaning, when my grandmother was alive. Now, it seems to allude me. Like it’s playing a game of hide and seek. And that is where my mediation sessions come in. I am going to find it, and I am going to visualize bringing my magic diary with me.

Meditation Session 16: Into the Dark
Spirit Time meets November 4th

Cue the floating flute music.
Dim lights, eyes closed,
down into the darkness I go.
Back to fire island.

Back to the base of
a towering mountain,
half covered in life, and the other half
oozing  in hot, angry lava.

Where I stood, at a cave entrance,
it is cool and calm and dark,
and yet one gets a feeling of

“he, he, he
ha, ha, ha
you know you are never
going to go in there.”

Fear chortled, and yet,
I was beginning to believe
that Fear
wasn’t always what he seemed.

I took steps down into
what seemed like
a hallowed out
ashen log.

cool, haunting, cooing winds
greeted me and tested me
to see
if I would step back.

I pulled out my magic diary
and drew myself warm clothes

and a flashlight and as soon as I was done

*poof* they were there.

I slid the silver button on
and a fierce single ray
priced the darkness
then… I started.

Down the long, dark tunnel,
Fear in tow,
a trembling in my heart,
and in my footsteps as I proceeded.